Rev. Katherine Schofield, First Parish Church, MBTS

 “Faithful Parenting: Some Thoughts from a Pastor-Mom”

If you’re a parent of young children right now, chances are your life is full to the brim—and not always in the peaceful, poetic way. Your mornings may begin before the sun is up, your evenings may be filled with spilled cereal, bedtime negotiations, and a never-ending pile of laundry. You may be wondering how to keep your child’s spirit strong, your partnership connected, your own identity intact—and your sanity somewhere in the middle of it all.

As a pastor, a parent, and a fellow traveler on this human journey, I want you to hear this: you are doing holy work. Parenting isn’t just a social or biological role—it’s a sacred calling.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Matthew 19:14). It’s easy to imagine that scene as peaceful and picturesque—but children don’t come quietly. They come with noise, mess, wonder, questions, and deep need. And Jesus welcomed them as they were.

We know parents today are facing more pressure than ever. You’re balancing work schedules, childcare logistics, financial stress, screen-time decisions, and more. And many of you are doing it without extended family nearby or meaningful community support. The modern world often makes parenting feel like a private project—but it was never meant to be.

That’s why churches like ours are committed to being a village for the families in our midst.

Whether it’s a safe place for kids to run and play, a quiet moment during worship, parenting groups, or simply a cup of coffee and a word of grace—we want you to know this: you don’t have to do this alone.

Here’s what the Church—and your faith—can offer young families:

Unconditional Welcome: Crying babies, squirmy toddlers, sarcastic teenagers, exhausted parents—all are welcome here. There is no “perfect family” in God’s eyes—just people doing their best and growing in love.

Permission to Be Real: You don’t need to have it all figured out. In fact, church is a place where questions are welcome, doubts are honored, and vulnerability is strength.

Spiritual Grounding: For both kids and adults the lessons of “Sunday School” (or Faith Formation) can help build a person’s ethical foundation and sense of self. As our Director of Children, Youth and Families, Jeanne Westcott, said recently “In each experience, the underlying, defining message is one that supports the child’s need to know how much God loves them and how important they are to the greater community. As they grow in knowledge and confidence, they are prepared to guide others.”

Support Beyond Sundays: Parenting is a 24/7 job. Church will be there for you with meals when you’re overwhelmed, prayers when you’re anxious, and friendship when you’re lonely. One of the major gifts of being part of a faith community is drawing on the knowledge of elders and other parents who have walked the path before you. Are you trying to figure out how to talk with your child about the death of a loved one, or about how to have hope in the midst of a turbulent world? That’s something that a church friend can help you talk through.

Encouragement to Grow Together: Children need stories of hope. Parents need spiritual nourishment. Church can be a place where both find what they need. However, as Jeanne Westcott writes, “We know that the home, the family, is truly the hub of most people’s spiritual reality. Parents and children help to shape each other in every example of conflict resolution and every celebration of life. Families are living examples of how people of faith are supposed to treat one another, respect differences, and embrace each person’s contribution to the encompassing community. And the extended family of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins give children a safe audience to discuss and help refine their budding spiritual understanding.”

Lots of families like mine have stopped going to church, either because it feels like one more thing on a to-do list that never gets completed, or because they see church as a place of judgement and disdain rather than a place of welcome and support. So – a word of warning to churches. Don’t do that! Don’t overprogram families and expect them to show up multiple times a week – instead, provide genuine support with lots of room for grace and understanding.

At First Parish Church, MBTS, we’re not perfect—but we are committed to being a community where all families can be embraced, empowered, and encouraged. If you’re a young parent looking for connection, a fresh start, or just a place to exhale, come see us. We’ll save a seat—and maybe even some Goldfish crackers—for you.

The Rev. Katherine A. Schofield is pastor of First Parish Church in Manchester- by-the-Sea. Midweek Musings is column that rotates among Cape Ann’s clergy.